Yeah, we’re going to have another post about sex, but this time it isn’t  WriteWorld admins doing the talking, it’s you, our fellow writers, who have shared your experiences and tips with us for writing sex from a male perspective, especially as a female writer.

WARNING: THERE WILL BE ADULTS TALKING ABOUT SEX AFTER THE READ MORE. PREPARE YOURSELF.

Alright, with out any further ado, let’s dive right in to some great advice on how to write sex from a male perspective!

• Do your research.
  • 62442magic suggests reading men’s magazines, reading stories with sex scenes written from a man’s perspective, or talking to male friends about their sexual experiences.
  • allypopx also sings the praises of doing the proper amount of research, especially by interviewing men about their perspective:

    I’d say the answer to this, like anything else with writing, is research. Talk to the opposite sex, either someone you know really well or someone you don’t depending on which is more comfortable. Interview them. Be blunt. Get an idea about sensation and logistics and emotion. And then write the scene like you would any other other-gender scene, but you’ll be able to it being better informed.

  • not-your-chambermaid suggests investing in some romance novels or fan fiction written from a man’s perspective. “A brief familiarization with male genitalia is also a good idea. Look at charts or even art references. Smut is your friend.”
  • chalicedflowers also sings the praises of reading erotica from the male perspective by other writers, paying special attention to “common sensations mentioned, the actions, the general mindset.”
  • Anons have had plenty to say on the topic of research as well! They suggestion studying visual aids (“the way an artist studying anatomy would”), asking for first-hand advise (“men’s websites can be a good substitute if you’re shy”) and asking yourself plenty of questions about the character and the scene itself.
    • What facial expressions does the character have normally? Do these alter during sex?
    • How does the character move? How do they breathe?
    • Does your character talk at all? How does his or her voice sound? What would he or she say?
    Anons also tended to suggest reading fan fiction and researching cliches in sex scenes (“they’re cliches for a reason” and “…cliches aren’t always bad”). Also, say the anons, check out homosexual erotica, which can be altered to suit a heterosexual sex scene. Also: porn. Lots and lots of porn.
• Sex is character-driven.
  • stubborndodecahedronexplains why sex is less about gender and more about character, as well as why knowing the facts is important:

    I think what it really comes down to is who the character is and less about the gender that they are. Is the person dominant or submissive? Are they nervous? Have they never done this before? I think one of the last things that should be taken into account is the gender. Which organs you have is secondary to the emotions conveyed (even if the emotion being convey is that it is emotionless sex). It does help know the mechanics. That cannot be denied; There are very good reasons certain foreplay acts exist. Do some research, ask a friend, learn what a clitoris is or that the anus does not self lubricate. However, even if you know the ins and outs, it’s really more about the character (and how they react to their lover) more so than their gender.

  • itsamagicbrawlfound that sex is not so different from the male or female perspective, thus reenforcing the feelings and mindset surrounding sex as more focused on the individual personality than the gender of a character:

    I have always found, from what I have asked of my male friends, and ex-boyfriends, is that honestly, they feel a lot of the same emotion things we do, just a different physical need. While we want faster slower, harder, softer, they think more in terms of Longer, Faster. Honestly, What I do is write it out like a women is saying it, then change it as much as I deem necessary, then send it to my friends to check, or I just go with what works, and if it seems right, i double check my work, then roll with it. ALSO my best friend Connor just looked over my shoulder at what i was typing, he says that if anyone needs help, he loves helping write smut, so go through me, and he will help, SO YEAH!

  • Anons have also weighed in on sex as a mental and emotional activity as well as a physical one:

    Remember that the brain is actually the body’s primary sex organ. And while men focus on reaching “the big O” and visual cues (looking at the naughtiness before them), women are more about the moment, and also would focus on more sensory details than visual, especially ones that imply intimacy.

• Shed your perspective.
  • xxmechanicalbridexxadvises writers to remove their perspective from the equation as much as possible while writing a sex scene:

    As a girl, I’ve run into this problem quite a bit, since most of my stories are from first point of view, and almost always my character is male. My advice would be to get into the character, even if it’s written in third person. Losing yourself and becoming a man seems a bit far fetched, but since I’ve started doing it, I’ve improved in more ways than one. If you’re still having trouble, I suggest watching a bit of…well…R rated films, focusing mostly on the men, and how they react to being touched, and how they touch in response.

• Calm down and get cozy.
  • Anons are adamant about being comfortable enough with yourself and with sex to actually write a sex scene. If you are not comfortable, says one anon, “it shows in the writing and can seem… stiff? It needs to flow like every other type of writing.” Other anons remind writers not to stress to much about writing sex scenes:
    

    Remember, it’s just a sex scene. If you know how to have sex, you have 90% of it down, I think. You know what kissing feels like and the general feeling of sexual stimulation.

Writers Share Their Thoughts in Submissions (we suggest reading all of these):

• Writing Sex from a Male POV by ariadnepaige
• Male Sex Female Writer by darknight-brightsta
• Response by supernational

Further Reading:

• Slasher’s Guide to Gay Sex (thank you, bloodstainedrazorblade!)
• Sex Tips for Slash Writers (thank you, bloodstainedrazorblade!)
• fuckyeahsexeducation (thank you, anon!)
• WriteWorld has some articles on sex scenes as well:
  • Sex Scenes: Cap Your Pens, Ladies and Gents, ‘Cause We’re About to Talk Dirty
  • How to Write s Sex Scene
  • Tips from Writers on Sex Scenes
• What a Male Orgasm Feels Like
• Ask a Guy: What Does an Erection Feel Like?
• What does Anal Sex and Vaginal Sex Feel Like to Guys?
• The Male Perspective on Sex (with a pregnant or recently-pregnant woman)
• A Man’s View about Sex
• Glamour: Guys Reveal What Sex REALLY Feels Like for Them…
• Sex Tips from MensHealth.com Geared Toward Heterosexuals(these are articles written by men for men)
  • 10 Ways to Jumpstart Your Sex Life
  • 33 Simple Sex Tips to Turn Her On
  • 10 Ways to Last Longer in Bed
• Sex Tips from AskMen.com Geared Toward Heterosexuals (these are articles written by men for men)
  
  • Balance Sex and Romance
  • Foreplay Tips
  • The Orgasmic French Kiss
  • What Do Women Consider Good Sex?
  • Good and Bad Lessons from Adult Movies
  • AM Rule Refresher: Make Your Mark
  • Describe “Good Sex” from Your Experience (AskMen forum; ESPECIALLY READ MOSSGARD’S COMMENT, the third one down)
• Sex from a Male Perspective (NaNoWriMo forum)
• Sensual Word Menu (unofficially the most useful thing ever)
• No, we’re not going to link you to free porn.

Examples of Sex from a Man’s Perspective Written by a Woman:

• A Drabble by killthemuse
• Richard’s Education by l8bloom

There is an extremely high likelihood that we will post more on this subject in the near future. We will also add to this post as more writers weigh in.

We would like, if there is interest, to create a survey which men can take regarding sex. Would you like to suggest a question for the survey? Would you like to take it? Tell us here!

Thank you to everyone who took the time to share their insights with us. We truly appreciate it!

-C