Yeah, we’re going to have another post about sex, but this time it isn’t WriteWorld admins doing the talking, it’s you, our fellow writers, who have shared your experiences and tips with us for writing sex from a male perspective, especially as a female writer.
WARNING: THERE WILL BE ADULTS TALKING ABOUT SEX AFTER THE READ MORE. PREPARE YOURSELF.
Alright, with out any further ado, let’s dive right in to some great advice on how to write sex from a male perspective!
I’d say the answer to this, like anything else with writing, is research. Talk to the opposite sex, either someone you know really well or someone you don’t depending on which is more comfortable. Interview them. Be blunt. Get an idea about sensation and logistics and emotion. And then write the scene like you would any other other-gender scene, but you’ll be able to it being better informed.
I think what it really comes down to is who the character is and less about the gender that they are. Is the person dominant or submissive? Are they nervous? Have they never done this before? I think one of the last things that should be taken into account is the gender. Which organs you have is secondary to the emotions conveyed (even if the emotion being convey is that it is emotionless sex). It does help know the mechanics. That cannot be denied; There are very good reasons certain foreplay acts exist. Do some research, ask a friend, learn what a clitoris is or that the anus does not self lubricate. However, even if you know the ins and outs, it’s really more about the character (and how they react to their lover) more so than their gender.
I have always found, from what I have asked of my male friends, and ex-boyfriends, is that honestly, they feel a lot of the same emotion things we do, just a different physical need. While we want faster slower, harder, softer, they think more in terms of Longer, Faster. Honestly, What I do is write it out like a women is saying it, then change it as much as I deem necessary, then send it to my friends to check, or I just go with what works, and if it seems right, i double check my work, then roll with it. ALSO my best friend Connor just looked over my shoulder at what i was typing, he says that if anyone needs help, he loves helping write smut, so go through me, and he will help, SO YEAH!
Remember that the brain is actually the body’s primary sex organ. And while men focus on reaching “the big O” and visual cues (looking at the naughtiness before them), women are more about the moment, and also would focus on more sensory details than visual, especially ones that imply intimacy.
As a girl, I’ve run into this problem quite a bit, since most of my stories are from first point of view, and almost always my character is male. My advice would be to get into the character, even if it’s written in third person. Losing yourself and becoming a man seems a bit far fetched, but since I’ve started doing it, I’ve improved in more ways than one. If you’re still having trouble, I suggest watching a bit of…well…R rated films, focusing mostly on the men, and how they react to being touched, and how they touch in response.
Remember, it’s just a sex scene. If you know how to have sex, you have 90% of it down, I think. You know what kissing feels like and the general feeling of sexual stimulation.
Writers Share Their Thoughts in Submissions (we suggest reading all of these):
Examples of Sex from a Man’s Perspective Written by a Woman:
There is an extremely high likelihood that we will post more on this subject in the near future. We will also add to this post as more writers weigh in.
We would like, if there is interest, to create a survey which men can take regarding sex. Would you like to suggest a question for the survey? Would you like to take it? Tell us here!
Thank you to everyone who took the time to share their insights with us. We truly appreciate it!